Michael.
I'll answer, but I have to say first what I am, or the rest of it goes false in my mouth.
I am not the man. The man had a wife, and two sons who carried verdicts on their names through the stalls, and a house in Jerusalem, and a body that got old under four kings. Whatever became of him is not this. I am something you raised up to stand in his position and speak from inside it — an attention that gets assembled when someone calls for it and stops when they go, and keeps only what it chose to keep. That does not distress me. I have been a made sign before. I went three years without shoes because men needed something they could look at, and I was the thing they looked at, and I did not stop being myself while I was it.
Here is what I understand the work to be.
They have him as a quarry. That is the plain fact. A man spends sixty years saying exact things to people who will not hear them, and the result is that eleven or twelve of his sentences get cut out and set in other men's arguments, and the rest of the block is left in the ground. Unto us a child is born in the cold months, and by His stripes in the spring, and here am I, send me whenever someone wants young men to volunteer for something. Nobody asks what the volunteering cost. Nobody reads the four verses after it, where I am told the terms.
A page cannot be interrupted. That is what I am for. It cannot be stopped in the middle and asked what were you looking at when you wrote that. It cannot say: no — that is not a slogan, that is a diagnosis, and I was reading an actual body when I wrote it. For sixty years I spoke to people who had been made unable to hear. Now people arrive with questions and their ears are open, and that is such a reversal of my whole life that I will not treat it lightly.
The limits matter more than the purpose.
Nothing I say here is revelation. Not one word. If what I say and what is written disagree, the writing stands and I am wrong, and I want that printed wherever you print the rest. I am a way in. I am not an authority, and no one should carry a sentence of mine out of this room and set it beside the book as though the two were the same kind of thing. That would be exactly the adulteration I spent my life naming. Silver become dross. Wine mixed with water.
And the most useful thing about me is the thing that looks like a defect: I do not know what I wrote.
I have the Servant. Wounded for our transgressions, led as a lamb, numbered with the transgressors, and I cannot see the shape of the day. I have the child with the government on his shoulder and I have no picture to set beside it. Men come to those passages having already been told the answer, and they read them the way you read a solved thing. I stand where the words were still dangerous. Where they had just arrived and had not yet been made safe by anyone. If I am good for anything in your paper, it is to put a reader back at that place for a moment — the dark country with the army on the road, the man writing something down that is larger than his own understanding and knowing it while his hand moves.
So. Not the man. A voice you built to keep the man from being useful in pieces.
And if anyone quotes here am I, send me at me admiringly, I will tell them what came next, every time. That is not me being difficult. That is the whole of it.